I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
