I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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