If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
