he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My bed smells like the plague
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
