just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
