I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
