I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
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