Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
