Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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