At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
