it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize