The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
