this just has baby written all over it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
