Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
