Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize