Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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