Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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