talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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