I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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