I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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