break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize