Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
