Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
