I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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