He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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