dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
