So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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