the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
