I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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