I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Did I show you my penis last night?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
