Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
