I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
