areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
