I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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