Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I am mentally ready for anal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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