I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
