Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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