In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
