Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
