ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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