its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Who died my cat blue again?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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