Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
