I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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