Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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