Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
