i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize