Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
