Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
