margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
In other news, I just burned my penis
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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