i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
