Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
