ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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