is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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