Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
