I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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