just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
