Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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