anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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