I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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