do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You made out with two different species that night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
