He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
