I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
