shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you guys were way drunker than both of me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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